Spiritual Abuse and Legalism

Legalism

This word is thrown around quite commonly in Christian circles, but what does it really mean? Personally, I feel that legalism is one of the most dangerous components of spiritual abuse because it inherently undermines the gospel and drives people away from God. As I wrote in my last blog post, I am going to be writing about spiritual abuse this year, and it seems prudent to jump right in and discuss one of the most common and dangerous issues within that framework, which, again, is legalism. I am hoping to tackle this issue in a two-part series, of which this is the first.

But first, let's back up and talk briefly about what spiritual abuse is. There are varying definitions that have been written, but I will start with a quote from David Johnson and Jeff Van Vonderen, co-authors a book that was immensely helpful for me entitled The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse. These were the two people who really seemed to start the conversation about spiritual abuse when their book was published back in 1991. According to Johnson and VanVonderan,

 "It's possible to become so determined to defend a spiritual place of authority, a doctrine, or a way of doing things that you wound and abuse anyone who questions or disagrees, or doesn't 'behave' spiritually the way you want them to. When your words and actions tear down another, or attack or weaken a person's standing as a Christian--to gratify you, your position, or your beliefs while at the same time weakening or harming another--that is spiritual abuse."  (Johnson and VanVonderen 1991).

And another quote from Johnson and VanVonderen: 

"Spiritual abuse can occur when a leader uses his or her spiritual position to control or dominate another person. It often involves overriding the feelings and opinions of another without regard to what will result in the other person's state of living, emotions, or spiritual well-being.” (Johnson and VanVonderan 1991).

Spiritual abuse is a broad phrase, and it encompasses multiple features and experiences. When we hear people use phrases such as "a bad church experience", "an unhealthy church", or "toxic religion", we may be hearing them refer to an experience of spiritual abuse. If you think of all churches existing on a continuum, with full-blown cults on one end, and healthy churches on the opposite  end, there is a wide spectrum between the two extremes. No church is perfect because people are not perfect, and you will find abusive situations that exist all along that spectrum. But, the closer you get to the “cult” side of the continuum, the more likely you will be to find increasingly pervasive patterns of spiritual abuse. 

I  looked at a variety of definitions on the internet, and there are many common words that show up in these multiple definitions, including the words manipulation, selfishness, and legalism. One helpful acronym includes that aspect of selfishness within spiritual abuse: Spiritual A.B.U.S.E. is Acting spiritual to Benefit oneself by Using Self-centered Efforts to control others (Hunt 2008).

Although spiritual abuse has not been researched as widely as other forms of abuse, multiple authors have noted the devastating effects on its victims, which are similar to those resulting from other forms of abuse. Spiritual abuse can also result in a sense of bereavement, similar to that of grieving the loss of a loved one. Many victims experience a crisis of faith or leave church altogether. C-PTSD can result from spiritual abuse as well. It should be noted that most of the information I have seen discusses the effects of spiritual abuse on adults. My hope is that researchers will begin examining the effects of spiritual abuse on the children who are being raised within these systems in the near future as well.

One strong theme among the features of spiritual abuse is often legalism.

So, what exactly is legalism?

Prior to attending my former church, I had thought of legalism as trying to earn salvation through one's own efforts and merit. It seemed cut and dry. A church that preaches about salvation by grace alone cannot be a legalistic church, right? WRONG. What I found so confusing at the time I was attending my previous church is that this church DID preach about grace, even to go so far as to tell us to search our hearts and question our salvation constantly. If we were “bringing any of our own effort to the table” when coming to Christ, we were lost and still needed to be saved. This was always the mantra, and I found myself questioning my motives and even my salvation all the time; and I repeated the sinner's prayer ad nauseum. But, I digress.

Back to the topic of legalism. This church did not preach directly about working one's way to heaven, so how could it be a legalistic environment? It turns out that I did not have the complete picture of all that legalism can entail prior to attending this church. Legalism can certainly mean trying to earn salvation through one's own efforts. However, the word is much broader than that, just as the phrase spiritual abuse can similarly encompass multiple features and definitions.

Through my own research, I found out that legalistic churches will often preach salvation by grace alone from the pulpit. When the preaching is over, however, grace is not lived out—and people are overly scrutinized for evidence of certain "fruit" in their lives. 

Let me pause to ask you a question--what comes to mind when you think of spiritual fruit? You're thinking about the fruit of the spirit, right? Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. 

Unfortunately, that is not the kind of fruit that I am referring to. Instead, I am talking about issues such as the clothing that people wear to church. The music they choose to listen to. The Bible translations that they prefer. The slang words they might use (and I am not even talking about actual curse words). Methods of educating children. The length of  dresses and skirts. Usage of make-up. Hobbies. Opinions about drinking alcohol in moderation. Career goals. The number of times members attend church each week. The amount of hours spent serving in church-related activities. The level of financial giving. Instead of finding the freedom to be led by the Spirit in such matters, these kinds of ideas are used all the time to judge others' fruit--and thus their standing with God and spiritual maturity--in legalistic churches. 

In such churches, the leadership and/or membership develops standards that church members are expected to follow. Sometimes these rules are actually presented in writing. For example, in order to join my former church, I was required to sign a document stating that I would neither drink alcohol, nor work at an establishment that sold or served it. More often, though, the rules and standards are left unspoken, and members learn to fall in line by conforming with the expectations of the group. For example, my teenage daughter got in trouble at camp, and was publicly shamed, for her usage of make-up (which her leader judged to be excessive and “worldly”). This is not a sinful behavior, but she was not conforming to the group’s unspoken rule, so she was punished and treated badly for it.


To sum it up, the leadership may preach about God's grace, but if it is not being lived out among the people, and is instead replaced with judgment, condemnation, and spoken or unspoken expectations to meet in order to "measure up", then legalism may very likely be present. In these unhealthy churches, you will see a lot of effort to live up to man-made standards in order to gain acceptance. If you attend a legalistic church, you may also experience intense levels of fear about what other church members think of you or about failing to measure up. Any time that works are added to salvation OR to sanctification, then you are dealing with legalism. 

In my next blog post, I would like to talk about specific examples of legalism that I have experienced, as well as what the Bible tells us and shows us about legalism (there are many examples even though the word legalism itself is not used in scripture).

For now, I would like to leave you with a few definitions of legalism to ponder. As previously stated, the most commonly known version of legalism in Christian circles is the idea of trying to achieve salvation through our own works. I want to share these other definitions to show you that it is not the only valid definition, as the term is often used to describe spiritually abusive experiences in a more broad context.

1. This most basic definition comes from the Oxford Dictionary, which defines legalism as "excessive adherence to law or formula."

2. Bible.org describes legalism as "an attempt to gain favor with God or to impress our fellow man by doing certain things (or avoiding other things), without regard to the condition of our hearts before God."

3. In an online article, Jack Wellman stated, "Legalism can be described as a strict adherence, or the principle of a strict adherence to law, especially to the letter of the law rather than the spirit. 

4. Finally, author Edward Cumella described legalism as lacking grace toward others, rather than treating others with love and grace as Christ commanded us to, and the underlying (often unspoken) theme that one's worth depends on performance and status within the church.

If you find yourself in a legalistic environment and need help, please reach out. I have found resources for information and encouragement that I would be more than happy to share with you. To get you started, I have posted links to online videos showing interviews with the authors of The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse. 

The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse Part 1

The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse Part 2

One final word of encouragement that is simple, but true: There really IS life after legalism. The pain and damage are real, but I am finding that I am stronger and more compassionate as I come to the other side of it. Help is available, and you WILL be okay. May God bless and keep you always!

In the Grip of His Grace,

Alyssa

Sources:

1. Johnson, D. and VanVonderen, J., The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse (Minneapolis, MN: Bethany House Publishers, 1991).

2. Hunt, J., Biblical Counseling Keys on Spiritual Abuse: Relgion at its Worst (Dallas, TX: Hope for the Heart, 2008).

3. https://www.oed.com/

4. https://bible.org/seriespage/lesson-57-why-jesus-hates-legalism-luke-1137-54

5. Wellman, J. https://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/what-is-legalism-a-christian-study/

6. Cumella, E.J. (2008) "Ch 19: Relgious Abuse." Eating Disorders: A Handbook of Christian Treatment, bu E. Cumella, M. Eberly, and A.D. Wall, Remuda Ranch: Nashville, TN

7. https://youtu.be/DGL_Wl7BAfE

8. https://youtu.be/MelXy5Gj7Jc